I have to share with you that this post has been sitting around unfinished for a few months now. The timing never seemed right to finish it until I read Sue’s post on contentment and covetousness.
I did something at work this summer that I had never done before. I didn’t know at the time why I had done it. My income is dependent on gratuities. I believe what I receive or don’t receive is the Lord’s provision. But I seemed to forget that in a split second when I returned change to a customer after he had told me that his check was “all set”. Let’s just say that his gratuity didn’t come close to meeting industry standards and the service he received wasn’t poor. When he reiterated that it was all set, I left it on the table anyway. I had never done that before. In my eyes, his gratuity was inadequate. And my actions surely conveyed that.
I returned to my work station feeling sick in the pit of my stomach. Such a heaviness overcame me after I put that money back on the table. I had no peace. All I had was a nagging feeling; that feeling that comes from doing something that I shouldn’t have. We call that feeling guilt. I also call it the conviction of the Holy Spirit. I hate that feeling as I’m sure you do.
As I cried out to the Lord about this angst I was carrying around, He clearly showed me why I was carrying it. He is my Provider and I had just shunned His provision. I had clearly forgotten that He is the Sovereign Lord who determines all things. Besides that, I had acted less than graciously.
In that moment of recognizing my sin against the Lord, I was broken and repented. Instantly, the heaviness and angst were gone. As quickly as they had arrived, they departed. The freedom I felt was incredibly amazing. The Lord did more than just show me that night that I had shunned His provision. He provided something I needed much more than income. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Oh, how I needed that forgiveness and cleansing to restore my relationship with Him. How we all do…. Have you ever received His forgiveness for your sin and His gift of eternal life? Have you felt the freedom that His forgiveness brings? If you’re not sure, here’s something for you to read.
It’s time now to finish this post that has been incomplete for weeks. After reading Sue’s post, I realized that in a split second I allowed covetousness to rule in my heart and that’s why I did what I did. I wanted more. I wasn’t content with the Lord’s provision. What about you? Are you content with what He has given you? Is it enough?
Linking up with: