I’m back and excited to share what helped me and others cope with the loss of an unborn child or infertility, but first, I feel I need to start off by telling you I am not in the medical profession, and I don’t have a lot of expertise in this area. Each woman’s body is different and only you and your doctor can know the best course of action for you, but I do think I have found something that can help deal with the emotional loss of an unborn child or infertility; it is something that worked for me and others in the past and hopefully might help you as well.
Even after all these years, I still remember being on that roller coaster ride each month as we were trying for a second child. As each month went on, the excitement and anxiety would build and I’d assure my husband that this was it; I was sure this time–until the reality hit sending my emotions plummeting downward once again.
What was also especially hard was when others we knew would announce that they were expecting. I wanted so much to be excited and happy for them, but inside emotions were screaming, “Why not me?”
The thought of getting pregnant was becoming all too consuming, and it seemed as if the only answer for me was to just give up on the idea of having another child altogether. Then I’d be able to focus on other things and the other important people in my life once more. That was when I found this verse in the Bible that literally change my whole perspective and helped me cope. It was:
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
God wasn’t asking me to give up my desire completely. He was telling me to stop giving it so much importance. The best way for me to explain it is like pots on a stove. My desire for another child was on the front burner on high! It was my primary focus, and the Lord was telling me to set it on a back burner on simmer and place Him on the front burner.
In other words, I didn’t have to give up my desire completely, but I needed to make Him and my relationship with Him, my first priority and trust that He really did have my best interest at heart and when the time was right, He would give me the “secret petitions of my heart.”
Turning that desire over to Him and setting it down and trusting Him with it helped me to once again focus on my husband and daughter and all the other things in my life once more. And when the time was right and when we least expected it, He gave us a son. 🙂
Some of you may be wondering just how you make God your first priority. What does it all entail? What are some of the steps you can take? I hope to share that next.
‘Til then, sue