Building Up Your Home ~ Part 3 ~ “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12

One of the most popular questions I’ve been asked in the past when councelling other women about building up those in their home is, “What if my husbands doesn’t reciprocate or even appreciate the things I do for him and our home? What am I suppose to do then?” I believe 1 Peter 3:1-4 answers this question for us. 
“The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes, but the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight..”
Peter had just finished speaking about Jesus in chapter 2 and all He had done for us and then switches gears to say that wives should do the same for their husbands, not because they are worthy, but because Jesus suffered and died on our behalf when we weren’t worthy of such love. He (Jesus) should always be our reason for doing and giving to others and in that way, we’d never be looking for anything in return.
Years ago, I heard this story on a radio talk show, and I never forgot it. I think it goes along with all we’ve discussed thus far:

A woman walks into her psychiatrist’s office and plops down in a chair looking weary and and frustrated. She sat there looking off in the distance a moment and then finally began to speak, “I can’t take anymore, Doc. I’ve decided I’m going to leave my husband and I need your help.”

The doctor looked confused, “Hmm, Let me try to understand. If your mind is already made up, why do you still need my help?”
The woman replied, ” Ever since I’ve made up my mind to leave him, I’ve been trying to come up with a way that will pay him back for everything he’s ever done, but for the life of me, I can’t think of anything! Nothing really good anyway. I need you to help me come up with the best way to pay him back for all I’ve had to put up with!”
The doctor sat back in his chair and thought for a moment and suddenly said, “I’ve got it.” 

Both leaned forward at that moment, for he definitely had her attention now! “You do?!”

 “Yes,” replied the doctor. “I want you to remain with your husband for one more month, exactly 28 days.” The women was startled, but the doctor continued,  “During that month I want you to do all the things your husband loves and enjoys. Fix him all his favorite dinners. If he likes to watch football all day on Sunday, make him his favorite football snacks and make sure the kids are busy elsewhere in the house so that he’s not bothered. Lay out his clothes; pack him little treats in his lunch. Get him his paper and slippers each day, if he likes that sort of thing!”

It was now the woman’s turn to be completely confused, “I don’t get it. How is that going to pay him back for all he’s done to me?!” 
The doctor continued, “On the very next morning, as soon as the month is up, just leave without a word.”The woman lit up, “I get it!! That’s fantastic! This will show him all he’s going to miss out on and how good he’s had it over these years. Only, it will be too late!! This is great, Doc! He’s going to regret all the days he took me for granted! Okay, I’ll do it!”The woman rose and headed to the doctor to shake his hand, “Thanks, Doc! This is perfect!!” And then she quickly grabbed her purse and  headed out the door.

Several months had past and the doctor hadn’t seen or heard from her since, until one day, while walking in the mall, he spotted her from a distance walking arm and arm with a man. They were smiling, laughing and seemed to be very much in love and truly enjoying themselves and one another. Suddenly, she spotted him and immediately let go of the man’s arm and began hurrying over to him. “Doc… Doc!” She drew closer and held out her arms to give him a big hug! “I can’t ever thank you enough!! That advice you gave me was the best ever!”

“Ah!” the doctor replied, trying to pry himself from the woman’s embrace, “So you went home and stayed for another month with your husband?” 


“And you treated your husband like a king? Did everything he really enjoys? Cooked his favorite meals, watch football with him, etc. etc?


“And then you left him the very next morning?”

“What?! Leave him?! Are you kidding? He is the best husband a girl could ever hope for!!”

By that time her husband had joined them and the wife slipped her arms back around her husband’s arm and looked up adoringly into her husband’s face and sighed happily…. 

This little story conveys an important truth that is given in 1 John 4:19: “We love Him because He first loved us.” It’s only natural to want to love and bless someone who has loved and blessed you in some way. Now there may be those who continue to be indifferent and who don’t fit into the mold, but I believe most of us would.

I’ll also let you in on a little secret; when you’re focused on doing for those you love, you’ll be less likely to focus on others doing for you!
Your mission this week, should you choose to accept it, is to focus on blessing your guy and winning him over not through words, but through your gentle, quiet spirit which is very pleasing in the Lord’s sight. The saying, “Actions speak louder than words” may help you focus on your mission, and if you decide to accept this mission, we’d love to hear back from you with the results!
‘Til next time, sue



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